Mmm, Mmm, Good!
Discovering the Ingredients of Success

Last August, I wrote about the importance of legacy and how each of us creates our own, bit by bit, every day. Similarly, success is something that is pursued and achieved gradually. But unlike legacy, which is the result of our actions and pays benefits to others after we’re gone, success is something we can appreciate and benefit from ourselves in this life. But the tricky thing about success is that the very word means so many different things to so many people. Its pursuit can have financial implications, bearing on the range and quality of relationships, and consequences resulting from paths that are chosen and others ignored. Personally, I value success a lot. A whole lot. In fact, the very thought of it gets me out of bed every morning with a smile (along with the occasional assistance of my young son and daughter), dictates my “thing-to-do” list for that day, and keeps me focused on the most important tasks that will lead me “there”. The pursuit of success gives meaning and context to my life.

That said, my understanding of success is likely very different from my neighbors’, my parents’ and even my wife’s. While there are common threads to be sure, the best recipe for success for each of us can only be defined (and refined) by ourselves. So how do you get there?

We should always start with a clear understanding of what’s truly important to us. This includes an up-to-date assessment of our personal values and recognition of the others, such as family and friends, who may also have a stake in what we do. This insight or awareness typically comes from personal reflection or, for some people, meditation and prayer. It doesn’t take long, but it does require taking ourselves off the hamster wheel of life long enough to give it the attention it deserves.

The second ingredient of success is developing the discipline to spend our time and efforts in a manner consistent with those people and things we believe are important. There’s an old saying that goes, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” Knowing what’s really important to you, and consistently allocating your time accordingly, is critical. It’s a simple strategy on the surface, but it’s far from easy. Given the distractions that most of us face each day, it’s easy to drift away from the things that really create value for us.

There’s a third ingredient that I think is often overlooked but is just as important. That’s developing healthy self-esteem. When people feel unconditional warm regard and acceptance of themselves, they gain confidence to better deal with life’s inevitable challenges. They also find it easier to give themselves permission to compete not with others, but with their own best self. It’s amazing to me just how many people go through their entire lives feeling poorly about themselves because they never quite stack up to the images they see on television. Whether it’s material wealth, athletic ability, good looks or professional success, focusing on these superficial indicators typically robs us of true enjoyment and satisfaction as we go through life.

When it comes to measuring your progress toward success, there’s only one sure way to measure whether or not you’re on the right track. Take a look at the goals you’re working on each day. If you’re moving in the right direction, the goals that you’re making progress on, day by day, week by week and month by month, will be in close alignment with your aspirations and values. If they’re not, it’s time to rethink what you’re doing.

But beware of obstacles! I have found that there are several common barriers that sidetrack people (myself included sometimes) on the journey. The single biggest culprit is a lack of honest and undistracted reflection. We live in a culture that increasingly devalues time for reflection. The busier we are, the better. It’s almost as if we wear exhaustion as a badge of honor. And some of us even keep our kids’ schedules booked for three months in advance…for fear that we’re bad parents if we don’t! This way of living leaves very little time for reflection. When we don’t take time to think about what’s really important to us, we usually latch on to what others think is important to fill the void, and that’s where the trouble begins. We end up giving permission to complete strangers – advertisers, television and movie producers, and other “experts” – to tell us what we should aspire to be and how we should live our lives. And while it may be convenient to let the media (or anyone else) dictate what should be important to us, we do so at our own peril. Remember, everybody has an agenda.

The way I see it, my success is way too important to put in anyone else’s hands. Only I know the exact ingredients and only I know how long to keep it in the oven. My advice? Take at least 30 minutes every week to have an honest “conversation on success” (sound familiar?!) with yourself. If your experiences are the same as mine, these will be the most important conversations you’ll ever have.

Tell Us What You Think...
Click "reply" and give us your thoughts!

www.edgeohio.com   www.paulmeshanko.com   www.respectfulworkplace.com