Many of us are not living our truth. Many of us are not listening to our inner guiding voice. Even worse, we are giving  our personal power away by allowing others to stop us from becoming who and what we desire to become.

In this moment, let's be clear about something: You are not a victim. No one person is making you give up your personal power. No one person is stopping you.

This is really great news! Why? Because it means that no one is to blame. No one is at fault. Not your parents, or your spouse (or ex-spouse) or the people that have been telling you that what you want to do is funny, crazy, stupid, a pipe dream and I'm guessing things that are even worse. They also tell you "why" you are funny, crazy, stupid etc.

So exactly how do you give your personal power away? Here's a a short list:

• You give your power away when you listen to others and begin to doubt your "self". ("What if they are right?")
• You give your power away when you listen to others and begin to be afraid. ("What if I fail.")
• You give your power away when you react to others and defend yourself. (The Buddha said "Defending youself is a sign of weakness in your beliefs. Do not defend what you believe. Acknowledge that the other person believes something different...but do not feel the need to defend what you believe to anyone.")

When you give someone else your power, you begin to stop yourself. 

What to do differently

Since it is easier and more gratifying to succeed with others, it is important not to shut people out. Align yourself with people that will support you, not question or criticize you. Further, find people that are already doing something similar to what you want to do or become.

I remember the frustration I had when I was preparing to write my first book "The Power of Asking for What You Want". I asked my friends and family members about writing a book and the feedback that I received was not very supportive. Some of the comments included:

"What do you know about writing a book?"

"Do you know hard it is?"

"Where are you going to find someone to publish your book?" 

"What makes you think that you can be an author? I've read some of your emails and your grammar is awful!"

Needless to say, these well meaning (I think) people could not embrace the idea of Andrew being an author. I found myself doubting my ability to write, my idea for the book and yes I was even wondering if I was crazy to even think I could do it. After struggling for a few weeks, I woke up one morning with a little A-HA moment: I'm asking the wrong people.

I found a group of local authors at our library and with their help, started to learn the business of writing and publishing a book. Their advice about writing a book was much different than my family and friends.

Today, I am proud to be an author of numerous books and audio programs. I knew that becoming an author was something that I could do to help others. I knew it was a part of who I was becoming.

Thanks to the help of others, I was able to overcome the "nay sayers".

You can do it too. Get away from the people that drag you down and drain your power. Align yourself with people that support your vision. Declare what you will accomplish and make it your single major purpose. Be unstoppable!

Finally, even with people that support your vision...be careful of their advice. They way that "they did it" may not be what is best for you. Follow your inner voice, ask for guidance internally. The answers are there...they always have been...and always will be.

Andrew Sanderbeck

===========================================================================