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Respect: The Source of Our Strength®
Jan. 23, 2009
- Independence, OH
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Increasing Human Effectiveness® - Two Day
Jan. 21-22, 2009
- Columbus, OH
Feb. 19-20, 2009
- Independence, OH
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A Thanksgiving We All Need, Badly!
Wow. This has been one heck of a year so far and we still have over a month to go. For many people, looking back upon the past 12 months brings a roller coaster of emotions from fear and anxiety, to relief, and fortunately, a little hope. Fear and anxiety over our economic conundrum, relief that the presidential election is over and the country can finally begin a new chapter, and hope that things in 2009 can only get better (remember the old Howard Jones song?). I’ve personally been on that ride and I’m ready for a little breather.
These days in particular, I’ve really tried to be a sounding board for my family members, friends and colleagues. I listen to their interpretations of what’s going on in the world around us and try to gauge their emotional states and expectations. And I try to read “between the lines” for the little things they do and I watch their non-verbal cues to see if they “jive” with what they’re saying. Those that seem to be in the healthiest emotional places (even while managing challenging situations) have developed a few key habits that I think we can all benefit from.
They train their brains to feel gratitude. According to Richard Restak, Ph. D, author of The Naked Brain, the human brain has a natural propensity to over-emphasize the significance of negative information and under-emphasize the positive. In other words, it’s physiologically easier to stew about what’s wrong in our lives than feel happy about the good things. Dang, talk about a software glitch! But that said, there are always things to be grateful for and those who are happier intentionally look for them and dwell more on the benefits.
They focus their time and energies on the things that really matter. My happiest friends do NOT read the headlines on the MSN home page every 8 minutes. Why? Because there’s not a darn thing they can do about them. So often times, the rest of us (including me) waste precious emotional energy fretting about or pondering the implications of things that do not directly affect our here and now. If the news has become a source of angst for you, take a vacation from it! Focus your attention on things that actually make you happy - family, friends, football (NOT the Browns), turkey and of course holiday shopping. I promise. The headlines will be just as grim when we all go back to work on Monday!
They always reappraise “bad” situations. Just as in the famous story of the Chinese wise-man who initially loses a prize stallion (only to have it return the next day with a beautiful, wild mare), there is neither good nor bad - our thinking makes it so. My friends who have this figured out are always reinterpreting news and information until they can find the good in it, even if it’s disguised as a temporary pain in the butt.
They intentionally spend more time with “positive” people. Families are goofy institutions. Why is it that the people we love the most are sometimes the ones that drive us the craziest? (Mom, Celia? I’m obviously talking about other families.) So this time of year, I practice being agreeable with everyone - and make sure I’m sneaking in a little extra time for those who see the glass as 3/4 full (of Shiraz, please). It’s purely coincidental that these are usually people who see the world just as I do.
From my family to yours, make it a wonderful Thanksgiving this week!
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