The Friday News Minute!
A weekly gem of information you will be using on Monday!
Published by Andrew Sanderbeck
Managing Partner of The People~Connect Institute
www.peopleconnectinstitute.com
Success Begins when People~Connect!
This week in our Friday News Minute, we look at overcoming career disappointment with an article by Timothy Butler is Director of Career Development Programs at Harvard Business School and author of Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths.
I remember being passed over for a promotion on two ocassions in my work life and was extremely disappointed and upset. (How could they do this to me? I worked hard to earn that job! They promised me..) Sound familiar? Perhaps you are facing a similar situation today, or still haven't let go of a disappointment in the past. This article should help! Thanks Timothy.
First, pay attention to the emotional impact of the disappointment. Do not try to deny, rationalize or minimize it. Let it play out without either suppressing it or acting on impulses to express your feelings in inappropriate settings. You may feel numb at first (“this isn’t happening or “it doesn’t matter”) or experience intense feelings of anger, hurt, or self-criticism. This is all to be expected.
Career shocks are events that set a process in motion. They offer an opportunity for both personal and personal development. This is not to deny the fact that they are painful and can be, for a certain period of time, disorienting. The important point is this: you are at the beginning of a process that can be an opportunity for new perspective. We can sketch the process roughly in terms of the six stages of working on career and life impasse that I discuss in my book, Getting Unstuck (the book has exercises for working with each of these stages):
1. In the beginning we feel disappointment with its accompanying feelings of anger, hurt, and an initial impulse to fight back.
2. The disappointment deepens -- our “inner critic” becomes active. Memories of past failures and disappointments return. Anticipate this; it will happen. The toughest part often comes early in the process. Do not hesitate to get coaching assistance if you feel it will help.
3. To move forward, you must first stop; you must suspend the mental model of your career that has just been shown to be inadequate by this major setback. You had been focused on that promotion, now it is gone. Instead of immediately coming up with an action plan, allow yourself to suspend both judgment and action. Get ready to think, feel and intuit about what comes into that empty space of no plan, no action.
4. Look for a new type of information. You are at a crossroads. You cannot muscle your way forward with brute thinking power. You need information from a broader sense of self. There are a variety of exercises that can help.
5. When it is time to act, act. Do not stay bogged down. Staying at the company or leaving is not the issue. The issue is where can you grow the most next and take care of the broader concerns of your family and full life situation.
6. Six months and, again, one year from now, take stock of what you have learned from the experience. Crises inevitably forces a clarification of values and feelings. You should know yourself better as a consequence of this experience. What is it about yourself, your career, and life that you now know better?
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Andrew's "The Power of Asking for What You Want -- Jimmy's Secret" Book is now available!
How can a little five-year-old boy change your life? In the book The Power of Asking for What You Want – Jimmy’s Secret not only does Jimmy show you time and time again how a child asks for what he wants, but he also asks for his sister and his mom when they’re afraid to ask for what they want for themselves. The story is set in an undisclosed small town in the Northeastern United States and centers around Jimmy’s family which includes his ten-year-old sister Cynthia (don’t call me Cindy) and his mom, Lynda Chamberlin.
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Program Update: My radio program on Blog Talk Radio called Talking About Your Business is now heard on Tuesday evenings from 9 - 10 pm eastern standard time! Please note the time change and join us next week for good fun and good information.
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