The Friday News Minute!


A weekly gem of information you will be using on Monday!


Published by Andrew Sanderbeck

Managing Partner of The People~Connect Institute

Success Begins when People~Connect!


This week in our Friday News Minute, we look at the Developing Trust in Our Relationships. Are you a trustworthy person? Are you in relationships with others that you feel trust and trusted? Let's explore building trust in our relationships with others and begin to free ourselves from the pain of the relationships that have gone bad in the past!


We cannot expect to achieve closeness with people unless we are willing to allow others to understand what we are like on the inside and unless others trust us enough to grant the same privilege. If we cannot trust one another we will find ourselves in relationships that are less than satisfactory.

Guy Greenfield once wrote that "Trust . . . is the gateway to depth. Trust is openness and openness is the gateway to depth. Therefore, in your relationships you go as deep as you trust." 

                                        RESPONSIBILITIES OF TRUST

Trust must become priority. Quite often we start out in our relationships with others as a self-centered person. It's about filling my wants and needs. Consequently, we expect others to be trustworthy people, but we tend to assume our own trustworthiness. Thus we see very little reason to work at building trust. If we begin a relationship without seeing the need to develop a greater sense of trust, it is doubtful that we will make it a priority of relationship building. Thus it is no surprise that growth in trust often comes about only as a response to crisis or a problem.


Growth in trust requires liberation from the past. Perhaps we can appropriate a principle adopted by the apostle Paul in his own spiritual growth. His past included a period of time in which he felt so hostile to his faith that he pursued a violent agenda of persecution against his church, even as his career as a member of the respectable religious establishment went forward. As he found himself in his faith he refused to allow the "baggage" of the past to hinder his spiritual growth. Even though many people failed to trust him at first, he refused to allow their mistrust to discourage him. He built trust by fidelity to his newfound faith and by letting the past go. 

It is virtually impossible for any relationship, over a sustained period of time to continue without passing through one or more trust violating experiences. Someone may say to you..."You broke my trust in you and I can't be sure that you won't do it again." This can occur in both our business and personal relationships. That last part of the quote is actually true. There is no way to guarantee that the trust will never be broken again, but being a loving person means that we can forgive and let the past be the past.

However, if someone continues to break your trust, it is likely that the relationship is unhealthy for both of you and making the decision to end that relationship should be seriously considered.

So take a good look at your relationships and begin to measure the trust in each and every one of them. Can more trust be achieved? Can each of you take the relationship deeper, by sharing more of yourselves? Is it time to end a relationship that no longer functions in love and honesty? Letting go of relationships that don't work, opens up the opportunities for you create more relationships that can be mutually fulfilling.

Adapted from an article by Norman and Ann Bales


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