The Friday News Minute!
A weekly gem of information you will be using on Monday!
Published by Andrew Sanderbeck
Managing Partner of The People~Connect Institute
Success Begins when People~Connect!
This week in our Friday News Minute, we look at the importance of setting goals in our relationships with others...especially with our families, spouses and significant others. This is something that my wife Michelle and I have started to do regularly this year and our relationship is better because of it. Maybe, the best Valentine's Day gift you can give...is a goal setting breakfast where you are fully giving each other your attention and intention.
When you think about it relationships are all about goal setting. Once you have past that first stage of dating and falling in love you both start focusing on the goals you each have for the relationship, such as where you want it to lead and what your relationships beliefs are. One of the main reasons many couples break up is because they never shared their relationship goals with each other. Most people just let the relationship do it’s own work and flow naturally, and while that is okay in some cases, it is overall important to keep in touch with what each of you is planning for the relationship.
Besides the fact that you were attracted to each other and shared common interests and fell in love, what really are your goals for the relationship? Though you can never predict what will really happen in the future of the relationship, you do already have an idea of what you wish to give and receive from this romantic partnership. It is important that you fully understand what your goals are first before having this talk with your partner. Are you looking for a serious partner or just someone you can spend time with so you are not lonely? Would you like the relationship to eventually lead to marriage or is marriage not the most important goal for you at this time? When you figure out exactly what your goals are in the relationship you will then need to learn why those goals are so important for you right now. For example, if marriage is a goal for you- why is getting married so important to you at this pint in your life? You need to understand your reasons for your goals and make sure you are setting those goals for the right reasons.
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Once you have figured out your goals you should then share them with your partner and then listen to what his or her goals are as well so that you both can see exactly where you both stand individually and as a couple. If there are differences in the goals you both have, you then need find a compromise you both feel is fair to the relationship. Not having the same exact relationship goals does not mean that you are meant to be together, but it does mean that more communication is necessary so you can always keep track of where your relationship is leading and if it is lacking anything that it needs. Plan ways on how you can both accomplish each of your relationship goals and talk about which methods you both feel will work best. Goals can change over time too, which is exactly why you and your partner should touch base on each of your thoughts so you never reach a point where the relationship feels lost and confusing for one or both of you.
Though it is important to understand your partner’s goals, it is more important to keep in touch what you really want and need from the relationship. Losing your direction can cause you to stay in a relationship even if it no longer fulfills your needs and desires. Partner’s can change and there is nothing you can do to change him or her unless they choose to, so the power you do have in holding on to the dreams you have for yourself and never lower your expectations in a relationship just because you want to stay with your partner. Neither of you should have to lower your expectation for the other; you should always work together in keeping the relationship on track. With direct communication and good goal setting, your relationship can continuously lead to stronger and more fulfilling stages that please you both.
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